it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
