I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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