Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize