I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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