Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
