Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
