like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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