so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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