A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
