Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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