I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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