mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
