I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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