we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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