Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
