I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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