Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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