my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have fence marks all over my body
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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