Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
