why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You pole danced in your parka.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
