i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl is more easily done than said...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
