How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
