Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
