I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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