i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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