Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
