Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize