I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
