Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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