You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize