i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
