Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
