Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
