i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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