I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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