i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
