I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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