i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have fence marks all over my body
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
