I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
