he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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