alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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