eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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