If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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