i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
