how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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