if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
