Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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