I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
