Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
