:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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