I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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