your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
