Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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