I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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