It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
