dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize