I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
