I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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